The Law Governing Lagos Traffic

1. Chijioke Amu-Nnadi, a poet domiciled in Port Harcourt visiting Lagos goes, “The traffic tortured me yesterday. I respect una traffic. PH na small boy.”

2. A recent retweet by GidiTraffic, “Seriously we can’t continue to experience B2B demonic traffic each evening; Ajiwe-AAdesanya Est. & Ajah rdabt”

3. An excerpt from a published essay,

“Lagos traffic is epic, unrivalled. Fela sang Go slow in the Seventies and more than three decades after, automobiles in a gridlock on Lagos roads is still a grim characteristic, the relentless status quo. Even pedestrians are not spared.

Lagos traffic has spilled into nearby states, extending beyond the geographical boundaries of Lagos itself, like Lagosians. Lagos suburbia is an expansive phenomenon swinging beyond the reaches of Lagos, down Lagos-Ibadan expressway, through Wawa, Arepo, Magboro, Ibafo, Asese, Mowe, all the way to Shagamu to accommodate an everlasting shortfall. Add to this the Lagos-Abeokuta expressway, Ota and environs.”

4. An excerpt from an unpublished story,

“It took you about a month to understand the dynamics of Lagos traffic. Several theories governed Lagos Traffic that you were completely clueless about. There was the theory of Traffic Disequilibrium which stated that there is a tendency for traffic to congest in the direction of the office crowd, all other things being equal. This meant that in the mornings, traffic built in the direction towards the Island and Mainland and in the evenings, traffic built in the direction away from the Island and Mainland. An addendum to the Traffic Disequilibrium Theory was the Sane Crowd Theory which held that to retain one’s sanity in Lagos, one must stay away from the direction of the office crowd at all times. All theories are however inapplicable in the event of road repairs, flood, unprecedented accidents and religious conventions.”

5. Conclusion: The law governing Lagos traffic is to stay out of it.

TGIF Danu Danu.