two weeks before my birthday

i.
as we fucked
lights out 
         the bed shook like
         a tree tormented

                      by rain
         your name 
        hid the shame in my mouth

the doorway was open 
                    i cried black into your back
kissed your neck  
                drove you crazy  drove you out of my mind

& as the day bled into nightfall
                       everything crumbled into the ground
you said, i’m cumming ade

                  i am still waiting for the arrival of rain

ii.
for light’s sake / i pluck moon from the sky and place it in this poem / no girl loves a poet as his drafts do / i remember reading you my poem about cunnilingus before flapping your clit with the leaflet of my tongue / i remember how the room wore your mouth / how you turned like the hand of a clock & guided me into the bowels of your body with your hand / but that is not enough to mourn you / not suitable / to decipher how beauty can mean iku in another language

iii.
i want to be left alone 
                 i carry a bible to go in search of god
all i see is a museum  a little light  & another little light
                 falling out of the holes you used to fill with your throat