A BALLAD FOR THE AUGUST LOVER
I
1:19am
Vancouver spills out of the speakers
in a song titled, “collapse”
I am holding my body like this, without my hands:
my molars pressing into each other like lovers swollen with wanton desire
to let go
is to offer my body to the heaviness of memory
pleading to have me the way the fire in a “sildenafiled” groin
pleads for succor
to let go
is to sink “in ocean blues” as the song portends
on arrival
to sink is to drown to drown is to die
but I no longer seek to die
for already I have, with all of my body, died
the way things ought not to
II
Vancouver: “on my own, I’ve been outgrown
on my own, I’ve been outgrown”
I am left to sink in the scent of a lover that left
ask me how she did it…
I’ll say she put one foot before the other
and mastered the flight of childhood songs
fleeing the mouth of ageing children
Ask me how she did it…
I’ll say I do not know what posture to assume
to stop the tears from overcoming my face